Warning: this post contains enormous amounts of sarcasm which doesn't always translate well in writing. So if anything offends you, it's probably your fault.
This is a very different blog post for Mess For Less. Usually, I post kids activities, family friendly recipes and parenting tips. But I was inspired by the funny folks at NickMom to pull back the curtain and show you what really goes on behinds the scenes of a mom blog. It's not pretty, but it is real and often leads to uproarious laughter. It might not be the jovial laughter of my single days. In fact, lots of my laughs these days sound like the maniacal laughter of a mom pushed to the edge.
You would think that you need some kind of stamp of approval as a "perfect mom" to have a mom blog. Turns out that is not the case. You just need a camera, some wacky ideas and the ability to push all your clutter out of the way to take a photo. I take most of my blog photos on my kitchen counter and it is a dumping ground for all kinds of stuff, most of which is not kitchen related. Here are some examples of the things I have found on my kitchen counter - a child's sock, a child's shoe, even more horrifying - my husband's socks (I prepare FOOD here people!), a snot filled tissue, a clump of cat fur... All that stuff gets pushed to the side as I take photos of my activities or recipes.
You will never see photos with clutter on Mess For Less. Why? Well my goal is to pull the wool over your eyes and make you think I've got it all together. No, not really. But let's face it, pretty photos look nicer and do better on social media than a cookie on a plate next to a child's sock and a teetering stack of magazines and kids artwork. You will also never see me ruining a recipe, yelling at my kids, and running off to cry in the bathroom. Nope, I never do any of those things.
Sometimes my friends tell me that they feel like bad moms when they see all the stuff I do with my kids on my blog. Interestingly, the original name of my blog was going to be "You're a Bad Mom" but the url was taken. I do make special snacks for my kids to take to school and prepare their food in cute little containers, but I do this because they are picky eaters and I try to make mealtime enticing and cool for them. However, I did laugh when I saw this cartoon from NickMom since I am the annoying mom that packs the Bento Box snack offering.
Whatever kind of snack mom you are, I think we can all agree that moms who appear to have it all together are annoying. So here is the REAL truth about mom bloggers. This is all a facade. It's smoke and mirrors. Our kids fight and annoy us badly (sometimes). Our families do not spend weekends in fields picking wildflowers. Our homes are a mess.
Want some proof? Here you go. On Friday, October 25th, I will be sharing a snack recipe for Fall Pretzels. The finished product will look something like this:
Pretty, huh? You will also see some photos of my angelic children helping me. Look how perfectly behaved they are!
What you won't see is this. Remember the perfectly behaved children? Well, one of my daughters wanted to color and when I told her that she would have to color later as we needed the table to make a special snack, this was her reaction. Yup, a full blown tantrum because I wanted to torture her by making candy coated pretzels. I am an evil mom.
Here is what my ingredients photo will look like in my blog post. This is after I shoved over everything that was on the counter.
Here is what you didn't see because of the angle. Yes, there is a package of toilet paper sitting in a bowl on my kitchen counter and it has been there for 3 days. I am not ashamed.
Here is the same counter one day later. The toilet paper is still there, it has just been moved next to the cereal box. And the things on the counter are still multiplying.
Oh and if you are one of those mom bloggers who does have it all together, I'd love to come over and see your house. I must warn you though, I will be looking in your closets.
If you are looking for some #MotherFunny laughs (and not the maniacal mom kind) then head on over to NickMom on Facebook.