If you've ever stood behind a wiggly kid with a brush in one hand and a detangler in the other, you know that most "tangle battles" aren't about the spray. They're about the order you do things, the kind of knot you're dealing with, and whether you're accidentally pulling from the scalp.
I have three girls with three totally different hair types, and what surprised me most was this - the hair that looks "easy" isn't always the hair that tangles the least. I found that fine and wavy hair gave us the toughest mornings.
But I'm here to tell you all the hair secrets I have learned over the years, including:
- How to tell what kind of tangle you're dealing with
- The pain-free brushing technique that matters more than the product
- What I use for light tangles vs tough knots (budget and splurge options)
- A simple DIY detangler spray for everyday use
Jump to:
- The 30-Second Tangle Check So You Don't Make It Worse
- The Pain-Free Detangling Technique That Matters More Than the Spray
- What Actually Helps With Tangles - And What I Use for Each Level
- The Brush Matters More Than You Think
- Hair Type Cheat Sheet
- Easy DIY Hair Detangler Spray
- Optional Tools I Use When We Need a Faster Morning
- The one habit that prevents morning tangles
- FAQs
Make Hair Brushing Easier!
Want a simple, printable guide to help with tangles, knots, morning routines, and bedtime hair care? Grab my No-Tears Hair Detangling Guide Printable Set from my shop for easy step-by-step tips you can use again and again.
Get It in My ShopThe 30-Second Tangle Check So You Don't Make It Worse
Before you spray anything, do this quick check. It helps you choose the right approach and prevents hair breakage.
Light tangles
These are the everyday snags where the brush catches but releases quickly.
Knots
You'll feel one or two tight spots that don't want to budge.
Mats (rare, but possible)
Hair feels fused together (often at the nape). If it's matted, slow down, as force doesn't make the process any faster, it just makes it painful.
If you're dealing with a true mat, work in tiny sections with your fingers first and take breaks. The goal is separation, not yanking.
The Pain-Free Detangling Technique That Matters More Than the Spray
This is the brushing method that stopped the complaints in our house.
- Start with fingers, not a brush - Use your fingertips to gently separate the area around the tangle first.
- Hold the hair close to the scalp - Grab a section and hold it firmly near the roots so the tugging doesn't pull on their head. This one change will make a big difference.
- Work from the bottom-up - Begin brushing the last inch or two of the hair and gradually move upward. If you start at the top, you push the tangles into a tighter knot.
- If the brush gets stuck, stop and redo - Add a tiny bit more slip (detangler or conditioner mix), use fingers again, then continue.
What Actually Helps With Tangles - And What I Use for Each Level
I bought way too many things over the years trying to solve our tangle problem. Some worked, some didn't, and a few just collected dust. Now I think about it in levels of tangles:
For everyday tangles:
A basic kids detangler or a light DIY spray (recipe below) is usually enough, especially for hair that only tangles a little overnight.
For stubborn knots:
Some hair tangles "re-form" even after you brush, especially in hair that is fine and wavy. That's when a stronger detangler makes a real difference.
A quick note if your detangler looks "weird":
Some concentrated detanglers spray out thick or gloppy. That's normal. Rub it between your fingers and smooth it into the section you're detangling. When it's working, you'll feel the brush start to glide instead of snag.
The Brush Matters More Than You Think
The kinds of brushes that tend to work best:
- Flexible bristles that bend instead of ripping through knots
- A cushioned brush that reduces pulling
- A wide-tooth comb for curly hair (great when hair is damp)
Hair Type Cheat Sheet
Thick and straight
Usually light tangles. A basic detangler (store-bought or DIY) and a gentle brush are enough. Focus on nightly brushing to prevent morning knots.
Thick and curly
Curly hair can look intimidating, but it responds really well when you detangle with patience and a dentangler. Use fingers first, then a wide-tooth comb or flexible brush. If you're fighting it daily, use the same approach I use for fine + wavy hair.
Fine and wavy
This is the "it tangles again instantly" hair type in my experience. Use a stronger detangler for stubborn spots and be strict about bottom-up brushing. Just be careful not to overload on product since too much can weigh hair down and make it feel dirty faster.
Easy DIY Hair Detangler Spray
If your child doesn't get severe knots, you can make a simple detangler spray that works well for day-to-day tangles.
- Use it on damp hair (after bath or after misting with water)
- Shake before each use
- Apply in sections where the brush usually catches (ends, nape, behind ears)
Tip from trial and error: if hair starts to feel heavy or coated, use less conditioner in your mix next time or rinse the hair well before styling.
What you need:
- 1 cup water
- 1-2 tablespoons conditioner
How to make it:
- Pour water into a spray bottle
- Add conditioner
- Shake well before each use
How to use:
Lightly spray onto tangled hair before brushing. Start from the ends and work your way up for best results.
Optional Tools I Use When We Need a Faster Morning
Here's what I reach for depending on the kind of tangle day we're having:
For everyday tangles (quick and budget-friendly)
- A basic kids detangler spray for light morning snarls
- A gentle, flexible brush that bends instead of ripping through snags
For stubborn knots (when the brush keeps stalling)
- A stronger detangler for the spots that won't release (especially at the nape and behind the ears)
- A wide-tooth comb if you're working through thicker sections slowly
For long hair or tangle-prone sleepers
- Soft hair ties or scrunchies (less breakage than tight elastics)
- A simple bedtime braid routine to reduce morning friction
If you're adding any tool to your routine, I'd start with the brush first. The right brush fixes more "tangle problems" than most sprays.
The one habit that prevents morning tangles
Brush their hair at night before bed. It doesn't prevent all tangles (kids sleep like tornadoes), but it prevents the kind that take 10 minutes and cause tears.
If you only change one thing, change that.
Here are some before and after photos using my hair detangling technique:
FAQs
Many kids do best with damp hair and some slip. If soaking-wet brushing causes snapping or breakage, towel-dry first and detangle gently in sections.
What if detangler makes hair feel weighed down?
Use less product, keep it on the ends, and save heavier detanglers for tough knots only. If your DIY mix feels heavy, reduce the conditioner next time.
Friction + dryness + fine strands. Jackets, car seats, and bedtime create friction. Night brushing plus a loose braid or ponytail can reduce tangles a lot.
shandi says
sadly they discontinued the goodie ouchless brush of old... the new one is a poisonous look alike it seems (at least based on reviews and pictures as I haven't personally tried it) and the only old ones available are from 50 to 100$ on amazon or ebay as new old stock. do you have a best second or has your old one stood up good enough to not need a new one? I know this is an older blog but still hopeful of a reply 🙂
Hanna says
Tangles are a pain, My hair is more prone to getting tangles which I hate so I buy some extra stuff to help with it.
Rebekah says
Dear white people:
Please...PLEASE stop calling straight hair "curly." I don't think you truly understand the definition of curly, but that is nowhere even close to resembling any kind of curl. That is BARELY wavy. When I google things regarding "curly hair," I expect to see ACTUAL curly hair...not this.
Julie says
My GRANDAUGHTER is not mixed ,but has ethnic hair ! It's kinky curly ,huge big balls of knots ! I need help to somehow get them out! I've tried everything ! Her scalp is very sensitive ! Just want her to feel as beautiful as she is to Me!
Frustrated mom says
Hate this brush! My daughters hair is SO tangled every single day that when I use it it literally just skips over the knots! Sure the top layer looks great but try to rin your fingers through my daughters hair and you quickly realize its still a nasty snarled mess! I always end up having to go grab my hair brush and still regardless of the sheer amount of any type of detangler im having to rip her hair out to brush it. I'm one hair brushing away from chopping it all off.
Vicky says
Sorry to hear it hasn't worked for you. I know that all hair is different and maybe the hair that my kids have responds better to the brush. I know how frustrating tangles can be. Good luck.
Tanglefree says
You can use one of the oldest remedies for tangles. Massage your scalp and hair with coconut oil. Detangle with your fingers. Wash 30 mins later. Do this once a week. A 1$ bottle lasts around 6 months. You won't need conditioner when you do this. This is the secret behind Indian women's tresses.
M says
We have had good luck with using a wet to dry detangle brush in the shower to help with rinsing out the conditioner. She just keeps brushing until the conditioner is all rinsed and then comes out with tangle free hair. I'm interested in trying the detangler you mentioned though... Thanks!
Cheryl says
I started growing my hair out a few years back from a short haircut, just above my shoulders and now it reaches to my elbows. One thing my husband told me was never to brush my hair when it is wet. I now use a wide tooth comb and I start from the ends and work my way up to the roots. I spray my roots with an Argan oil mix after each time I wash. I use a shampoo that is free of Euphrates and parabans as they strip your natural oils, leaving hair dry. I rarely use a brush anymore, most of the time I just use a wide tooth comb, there really isn't any reason to use a brush at all. Another thing that makes a bid difference is regular trims. I have my husband trim my ends to remove the splits and keep my hemline neat every six to eight week, quarter inch or less. He sections it, and trims the tips on each successive layer so the layers underneath get the splits removed too, not just the top layer with a straight across the back trim. It makes the comb glide through my hair easier. At night I braid my hair and I have my husband braid my hair before work as it keeps it out of my face and I don't need to fuss with it. I carry a wide tooth comb in my purse not a brush. My niece who has very fine hair, was at the pool with us and she wrapped a towel around her head after she got out. Later it took a good amount of conditioner and using a wide tooth comb starting at the ends to get it untangled.
Brooke says
Thanks for the tips! In addition, I always recommend a satin or sateen type pillow case! These can be pricey but with a trip to the clearance section of your local fabric store and basic straight-line sewing skills, you can have multiple soft cases that soften hair overnight. ?
Vicky says
What a great idea, Brooklyn! Thank you!
Kristy says
I'm missing something...where is the recipe/info on the homemade detangler in this article? Also which is the best for fine and wavy? I've read this article several times and I don't see this info.
Thank you so much! From a mom at her wits end with tangles and frizzy flyaways! 🙂
Vicky says
Fixed, thanks for pointing that out!
Kristy says
Thank you so much for responding! Also glad to help and to know that I'm not losing my mind (totally)!