With Spring and Summer approaching, wedding season is upon us. Weddings are exciting and fun. Unless you happen to be the parent of kids who will be in the wedding party, in which case the whole experience can be stressful. This past summer, I had all three of my girls in a wedding. My twins had just turned 4 and my youngest was 2 1/2. While I was excited about the wedding of my brother-in-law and sister-in-law, I was less excited about how my kids would perform. But I did learn a few things along the way that I will share with you. Here are 7 Tips for Having Your Kids in a Wedding.
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Research Weddings
Help your kids become wedding experts by reading kids books about weddings. Some of our favorite were The Most Special Flower Girl, The Best Ever Ring Bearer and the coloring book At the Wedding. You can even show your kids some videos of kids in action at a wedding. There are lots of videos online, but I bet your kids will get a kick out of seeing your own wedding. This will help them understand what will be expected of them.
Purchasing Wedding Attire
Since I was having all three of my kids in a wedding at once, it could have been quite pricey. I saved money by purchasing the dresses on ebay. Once you know the style of dress or suit you will need, type it into a search on ebay and see what comes up. You will want to start this process as soon as your child is asked to be in a wedding as it sometimes takes months to find something in the right size. I was able to find all 3 dresses in very good condition and I paid less than I would have for one new dress. The kids will only be wearing the clothes one time and there is no reason to spend a lot of money. Plus, if your kids keep the clothes in nice condition (mine did NOT), you can resell them again after the wedding.
Practice, Practice, Practice!
You will want your little ones to know what they are going to do as much as possible going into the big day. There will be a dress rehearsal of course, but you should start your rehearsal well before that at home. We rehearsed once a week in the two months leading up to the wedding and then a few days a week right before the wedding. I would get the kids dressed up in their dresses and shoes and they would walk down a pretend aisle holding hands. If you know that they will be tossing flower petals or carrying a bouquet, you can make your own props for them to practice with. This is also a great time to get used to the clothes and break in the shoes they will be wearing. You don’t want your child’s first time in the wedding clothes and shoes to be the day of the wedding. Too many things can go wrong.
The Dress Rehearsal
Finally comes the opportunity for the kids to practice in the actual wedding venue. It will be helpful for them as they work on the pace of their walk and remember who they will be walking behind. Practice having them walk down the aisle and going to their seats a few times, so they know where they will be sitting. Likewise, you will want to make sure they know when it is their turn to get up and leave at the end of the ceremony. Being at the venue will also give children a chance to see where they will be sitting during the wedding and practice sitting quietly.
The Ceremony
In my experience, the walk down the aisle was much easier than I thought it would be. It was the sitting quietly and still during the wedding ceremony that held the greatest opportunity for disruption. Let’s face it, kids are not used to sitting quietly for long periods of time and wedding vows are probably not very interesting for them. Luckily, I was able to sit in the same row as my kids and keep them quiet with my bag of tricks. I brought a pad and crayon and some Wikki Stix. If you are worried about your child dirtying their wedding clothes you can skip the crayon. Playdough would be another great thing to bring along to keep little hands busy.
Pictures
At this point your child is probably worn out from all the festivities. I know mine were. To keep them from melting down for photos, I resorted to bribery. I am not proud, but I told the kids if they could keep it together for photos they would get a piece of candy. This may be controversial, but it worked and the happy couple got some beautiful pictures. Of course we still managed to have fun while taking photos.
Relax
I spent a lot of time stressing out about having my kids participate in the wedding. But then I realized that no one else really cared. What I mean by that is even the bride and groom said they didn’t expect the kids to be perfect. Every guest I spoke to said the same thing. I felt some kind of pressure to not have my kids “ruin” someones big day, but it turns out there was really nothing they could do that would have done that. Follow these 7 Tips for Having Your Kids in a Wedding so your day will go smoother, but don’t get stressed like I did. It will all work out, and if it doesn’t go perfectly, it will make for great video.
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[email protected] says
These girls are just adorable! Hope they had a great time 🙂
Vicky @ Mess For Less says
Thanks Bella!
Allison says
Funny story…My oldest was in a wedding last year. I was also in the wedding, so I couldn't help him line up. Right before the wedding started she turned and saw him sitting in the chairs where the guests were sitting. She told him he was supposed to be lined up with the guys, and he said, "But I really wanted to sit by Jonah!" (his cousin) Funny kid. Thankfully he went to his place in line and did great. Awesome post! Great tips!
Vicky @ Mess For Less says
Too funny! Kids are always unpredictable.
sara whalen says
Thanks for the advice. My 4 year old daughter was just asked and she is very shy. I will take your advice and practice. Thanks!
Irena J. says
wow, these are great tips! I wish I could've read them BEFORE my sister's wedding and I can't believe I didn't think of bribery in the church :facepalm:
Thank you for sharing! Found you via Diana Rambles linky party.
Angelina- JoJo & Eloise says
OMGoodness!!! How cute is this!! Not to mention great tips 😉 Were throwing a party and would love for you to link up! Hope to see you there.
jojoandeloise.com/2013/04/knock-our-socks-off-party-3-2/
xo
Angelina
Sarah Wells says
Great tips! I just got married last year and had my young niece and nephew in the wedding. My sister did a great job practicing with them and having toys/snacks for them that day. One thing we didn't think of, though, was that there was a big crowd and most of the people in the back were people they wouldn't recognize. My niece (4 years old) had been SO excited and practiced dropping flowers all the time, but when she saw the strangers she just froze. Thankfully, my dad helped her down the aisle and all was well. She looked adorable and ended up standing up front the whole service. My brother-in-law helped my nephew down the aisle, and then he went off with a baby sitter to play, he was only 2 at the wedding.
Diana - FreeStyleMama says
Great tips! Thanks for sharing this at my Pin Me Linky Party. I hope you come visit & link again.
Foldable Flats by After Flats says
Loving this..
Wedding Tips
Kristina says
Thanks for being the only person on the internet (or at least Pinterest) with tips for this! I’m so nervous for my 24 month old to be a ring bearer next month. I just know a tantrum is coming at the most inopportune time. I was wondering how you practiced at home? Did you move furniture or something to make an aisle or did you just practice the pace of the walking?
Vicky says
Glad to hear it! We did move some furniture around to make an aisle and the day of the wedding everyone will be so focused on how cute the kid is, they won’t notice any missteps. Good luck!