If you've ever stood behind a wiggly kid with a brush in one hand and a detangler in the other, you know that most "tangle battles" aren't about the spray. They're about the order you do things, the kind of knot you're dealing with, and whether you're accidentally pulling from the scalp.
I have three girls with three totally different hair types, and what surprised me most was this - the hair that looks "easy" isn't always the hair that tangles the least. I found that fine and wavy hair gave us the toughest mornings.
But I'm here to tell you all the hair secrets I have learned over the years, including:
- How to tell what kind of tangle you're dealing with
- The pain-free brushing technique that matters more than the product
- What I use for light tangles vs tough knots (budget and splurge options)
- A simple DIY detangler spray for everyday use

Jump to:
- The 30-Second Tangle Check So You Don't Make It Worse
- The Pain-Free Detangling Technique That Matters More Than the Spray
- What Actually Helps With Tangles - And What I Use for Each Level
- The Brush Matters More Than You Think
- Hair Type Cheat Sheet
- Easy DIY Hair Detangler Spray
- Optional Tools I Use When We Need a Faster Morning
- The one habit that prevents morning tangles
- FAQs
Make Hair Brushing Easier!
Want a simple, printable guide to help with tangles, knots, morning routines, and bedtime hair care? Grab my No-Tears Hair Detangling Guide Printable Set from my shop for easy step-by-step tips you can use again and again.
Get It in My ShopThe 30-Second Tangle Check So You Don't Make It Worse
Before you spray anything, do this quick check. It helps you choose the right approach and prevents hair breakage.
Light tangles
These are the everyday snags where the brush catches but releases quickly.
Knots
You'll feel one or two tight spots that don't want to budge.
Mats (rare, but possible)
Hair feels fused together (often at the nape). If it's matted, slow down, as force doesn't make the process any faster, it just makes it painful.
If you're dealing with a true mat, work in tiny sections with your fingers first and take breaks. The goal is separation, not yanking.
The Pain-Free Detangling Technique That Matters More Than the Spray
This is the brushing method that stopped the complaints in our house.
- Start with fingers, not a brush - Use your fingertips to gently separate the area around the tangle first.
- Hold the hair close to the scalp - Grab a section and hold it firmly near the roots so the tugging doesn't pull on their head. This one change will make a big difference.
- Work from the bottom-up - Begin brushing the last inch or two of the hair and gradually move upward. If you start at the top, you push the tangles into a tighter knot.
- If the brush gets stuck, stop and redo - Add a tiny bit more slip (detangler or conditioner mix), use fingers again, then continue.

What Actually Helps With Tangles - And What I Use for Each Level
I bought way too many things over the years trying to solve our tangle problem. Some worked, some didn't, and a few just collected dust. Now I think about it in levels of tangles:
For everyday tangles:
A basic kids detangler or a light DIY spray (recipe below) is usually enough, especially for hair that only tangles a little overnight.
For stubborn knots:
Some hair tangles "re-form" even after you brush, especially in hair that is fine and wavy. That's when a stronger detangler makes a real difference.
A quick note if your detangler looks "weird":
Some concentrated detanglers spray out thick or gloppy. That's normal. Rub it between your fingers and smooth it into the section you're detangling. When it's working, you'll feel the brush start to glide instead of snag.
The Brush Matters More Than You Think
The kinds of brushes that tend to work best:
- Flexible bristles that bend instead of ripping through knots
- A cushioned brush that reduces pulling
- A wide-tooth comb for curly hair (great when hair is damp)
Hair Type Cheat Sheet
Thick and straight
Usually light tangles. A basic detangler (store-bought or DIY) and a gentle brush are enough. Focus on nightly brushing to prevent morning knots.
Thick and curly
Curly hair can look intimidating, but it responds really well when you detangle with patience and a dentangler. Use fingers first, then a wide-tooth comb or flexible brush. If you're fighting it daily, use the same approach I use for fine + wavy hair.
Fine and wavy
This is the "it tangles again instantly" hair type in my experience. Use a stronger detangler for stubborn spots and be strict about bottom-up brushing. Just be careful not to overload on product since too much can weigh hair down and make it feel dirty faster.

Easy DIY Hair Detangler Spray
If your child doesn't get severe knots, you can make a simple detangler spray that works well for day-to-day tangles.
- Use it on damp hair (after bath or after misting with water)
- Shake before each use
- Apply in sections where the brush usually catches (ends, nape, behind ears)
Tip from trial and error: if hair starts to feel heavy or coated, use less conditioner in your mix next time or rinse the hair well before styling.
What you need:
- 1 cup water
- 1-2 tablespoons conditioner
How to make it:
- Pour water into a spray bottle
- Add conditioner
- Shake well before each use
How to use:
Lightly spray onto tangled hair before brushing. Start from the ends and work your way up for best results.


Optional Tools I Use When We Need a Faster Morning
Here's what I reach for depending on the kind of tangle day we're having:
For everyday tangles (quick and budget-friendly)
- A basic kids detangler spray for light morning snarls
- A gentle, flexible brush that bends instead of ripping through snags

For stubborn knots (when the brush keeps stalling)
- A stronger detangler for the spots that won't release (especially at the nape and behind the ears)
- A wide-tooth comb if you're working through thicker sections slowly
For long hair or tangle-prone sleepers
- Soft hair ties or scrunchies (less breakage than tight elastics)
- A simple bedtime braid routine to reduce morning friction
If you're adding any tool to your routine, I'd start with the brush first. The right brush fixes more "tangle problems" than most sprays.
The one habit that prevents morning tangles
Brush their hair at night before bed. It doesn't prevent all tangles (kids sleep like tornadoes), but it prevents the kind that take 10 minutes and cause tears.
If you only change one thing, change that.
Here are some before and after photos using my hair detangling technique:


FAQs
Many kids do best with damp hair and some slip. If soaking-wet brushing causes snapping or breakage, towel-dry first and detangle gently in sections.
What if detangler makes hair feel weighed down?
Use less product, keep it on the ends, and save heavier detanglers for tough knots only. If your DIY mix feels heavy, reduce the conditioner next time.
Friction + dryness + fine strands. Jackets, car seats, and bedtime create friction. Night brushing plus a loose braid or ponytail can reduce tangles a lot.








eubankseutopia says
Great idea! My daughter has VERY tangly hair. I usually put a dime size blob of Suave coconut conditioner (same one you have pictured) in my hand and spread it evenly over her hair when it's wet, and that works great. Spray bottle is a nice idea though, probably makes for better and more even coverage.
~jeannine
Rachel - Adventures of a DIY Mom says
Great post! I'm going to try your homemade detangler. Pinned!
Michelle Johnnie says
Great post! I need to try some of your methods on my daughter's hair. This was the most viewed post at somedaycrafts.blogspot.com last week. I am featuring it today!
Diana - FreeStyleMama says
I've heard that Suave Coconut keeps lice away...so it's serving double duty!!
Jana from HowToRunAHomeDaycare says
My daughter's hair is fine and wavy and we argue on a daily basis about brushing, pulling it back into braids (to avoid tangles) and cutting it shorter. Thanks so much for the tips. I think it's time to try some products, I'd love to have stress free combing sessions like you do with your girls.
Kathryn says
Thanks for this post. I am an adult who never had long hair but have now grown it to waist length and it is in the fine & wavy category and some tangles have been so bad I have even cut a few out and thought about cutting my hair short again, but I will give the product you suggested a try:)I
Crystelle Boutique says
Fine hair at our house too... Yep, it gets super tangly....!Thanks so much for your tips. I will try making some of my own entangler, and put Zerran Equalizer on my shopping list. Thanks much for all your tips. Your girls look adorable. Looks like they cooperate very well with the pictures!hugs xCrystelle
4 You With Love says
What a great idea. It's amazing how must tangles are caused by dried out hair...this spray conditioning idea is something I will definitely be trying
Scary @ Shaffer Sisters says
Thank you for this post. My little one is always getting her hair in knots. And this will be able to help me get the knots out for cheap.
If I have luck like my mom I might end up with a thick and straight, thin and wavy, and Super Thick and Super Curly.
Shauna {The Best Blog Recipes} says
Saw your link over at Six Sisters and thought I'd check it out 🙂 What a great idea for hair detangler!
I'd love for you to link up a few things at my weekend link party that is going on right now @The Weekend re-Treat!
Hope to see you there!